As a working parent school holidays fill me with anxiety. And its not just when the holidays arrive, it’s the planning for them the months before. These Easter holidays were no different. This post is going to be a bit different from my others. It’s not about organising, and it’s not going to be all that positive. But it is about real life and the struggles that come with that.
I’ll start by giving you a bit of background around our current work situation. I work Monday to Thursday, normally 9.30 am to 5.30 pm. This lets me do the school run as the husband has usually left for work early. Talking of hubby, he works a four week shift rota. This is great during term times as he is free to do the school pick up, but he also works two weekends out of four.
When it comes to holidays, because we know his shifts in advance we can see when we need to take time off. We are lucky as both our parents live locally, and if hubby is working between them they pick the girls up from school. Because they help us during the term time we like to give them a break during the school holidays and try to cover these ourselves.
These holidays though we couldn’t really take a lot of leave. This was for a number of reasons – need to keep some leave for other school holidays, people in our teams/departments were already off and our offices needed covering. This meant we were going to pull off the juggle of all juggles with childcare.
In fact the first week was OK. Hubby was off for a couple of days and I had one day booked off. There was one day we couldn’t cover but the grandparents took the girls off to have a fun day out with their cousins.
The second week though was rather full on. Hubby was down to work four late shifts and I still needed to be in the office as no one else was in. So I worked 8 am to 3 pm, then got home as quickly as I could so hubby could leave at 3.30 pm to start his shift at 4 pm. He then worked through to midnight. We were passing ships in the night and communicated by text message.
My working mum guilt was working overtime that week. I was feeling the girls were getting a really rough deal. They weren’t getting the fun days out that I was seeing our friends were posting all over social media. The house was a tip because they were spending a lot of time at home. And I felt like I didn’t stop from my alarm going off at 6.30 am to when I finally made it to bed about 11 pm. I was one tired cranky mama that unfortunately lost her cool more than once!
So what have these holidays taught me? Something had to give, and during these holidays it was the house. Minimal cleaing and tidying up were done and the house wasn’t put back together properly for two weeks. I did then spend Easter Sunday decluttering the girls rooms because I couldn’t deal with not seeing clean clutter free surfaces any longer.
I also noticed that when we would all be off we made sure that day was a great family day. We went on bike rides, where for the first time we all rode our bikes at the small time. We visited Coleton Fishacre, a local National Trust property just around the corner from us. It was a lovely day out and we were blown away by the beauty on our doorstep.
We also had walks on the edge of the moors.
My eldest also took part in an all day baking workshop (early birthday present) which meant my youngest had some daddy daughter time visiting the penguins at Living Coasts. I also took them to the cinema one evening to finallly see Beauty and the Beast. Not sure who enjoyed that more, me or them. They also went swimming at the local holiday park a couple of times.
Looking back, actually the girls did alright. It was the hubby and I that were putting the pressure on ourselves. Yes we let social media get the better of us, but all we saw on there were other people’s happy family times. What we didn’t see was the juggle they were probably also having to do. In fact, I don’t think the girls even asked once why we needed to go to work. They just asked who was looking after them, and after they heard they responded ‘OK mummy, see you later.’
My mind has already started to think about the long summer holidays and how we are going to juggle that. But this year I am going to remind myself of a couple of things. For a few weeks the house is going to be a mess and the ironing pile will grow but something more important will be happening. We will be out and about creating our long lasting family memories, hopefully st the beach!
Do you have a school holiday juggle to work out too? I would love to hear about it and how you manage.
Jo
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Hi Jo,
It is a constant struggle. Sorry I was one of those posting pics of our 2nd Easter week on FB. The guilt does sometimes get the better of you. I have withdrawn myself from social media for this reason. I too get the same feelings when seeing others enjoying themselves and the patent guilt that comes with it.
You are a wonderful mum to your 2 lucky girls. I recently went on a course this week with 10 other ladies all about. What makes us happy. It made me realise that all the other ladies felt the same feelings I have of the guilt when working and the others you have mentioned. I felt so fantastic when I finished. It is only 2 hours each week for 8 weeks. It really makes you sit back and reflect on what matters the most. I too get hung up on the house being in a mess and then have a as monstrous tidy up.
So how about we help each other. Easier said than done. As sometimes I make snap decisions to pop to the beach on the morning of a sunny day. But when the holidays come round if there are days when you are struggling with childcare auch needed beach hut day would be brilliant and our lucky children could play together. They would be so happy to be together and entertain one another. Sorry I can’t extended to help you with the house work he he. The buck stops there. X x
I too snap once in a while…..or more. Again the guilt creeps in you feel bad after.
Big hugs Jo. I am trying a meditation technique which takes a moment to relax and bring yourself together and think straight again.
I’ll let you the course details as they will be running more to accommodate different times for everyone. X
Loving the blog x
Could you send me your email for course details. I would love everyone to do the course for how it has a few me feel.
You are not alone! Our lives are also a constant struggle to juggle work/life balance as well as covering the dreaded childcare. Our house also took a back seat, and you have to let go of the little things, making fun memories with the kids is far more important
It must be so hard juggling and working with school holidays – your pics look fab looks like your children had a fab time – you have made some lovely memories #marvelousmondays
Well done for making it work. Looks like you are doing a fab thing. Social media is fickle and I think your children sounded happy. Bet grandparent spoilt them #marvmondays
Social media is often a highlight reel after all… If you had just shared the pictures from this post as opposed to your honest account of juggling childcare with two working parents, we’d have thought you Easter holidays were full of fun and adventure like what is shown elsewhere on social media. When you were able to spend time together as a family, you made the most of it, and that’s what counts! #MarvMondays
Juggling childcare is hard work. I am lucky my husband works shifts and it’s a rolling shift pattern so we know well in advance what he’s working. Over easter I was fairly lucky and didn’t need to take too much leave and I am lucky that I work from home so if it’s just the eldest I could work from home and she could occupy herself. The summer holidays will be a bit more of a challenge and so we’ll use a local holiday club too as much for us as Ella as it’ll mean she can go and make friends and have fun. Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays x
It sounds like the children did well and it is always us that sees the stressful side isn’t it? My husband used to work shifts and I can totally relate to the planning I worked too and the whole planning used to drive me mad! x #sharingthebloglove
I can completely sympathise on having to let the house slip for a bit – I’ve been the same during pregnancy, it’s been impossible to keep on top of. Getting outside for fresh air is always the best thing. Social media is a tough one though – I’m sure if you looked on mine lately you’d think we were always out and about having fun. The reality is that I’m still being sick, struggling to move around, and all round finding pregnancy a real struggle! We’ve had more days in than I’d ever like to admit. Well done on juggling everything and letting slide the things that needed to. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
It’s so hard. My brother and SIL both work full time and its tough covering the holidays. I help out when I can, but it can be a nightmare for them to get my niece to me in the morning. Don’t worry about the house slipping, no one will notice but you. I’m sure the girls still enjoyed their time off. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove